Status Migrainosus 1: A Poet’s Thoughts Near Death

‘I have read, I have cried, and I have

Supped full with passion and horror,’

Thought the poet, his eyes preternaturally bright,

‘I have ticked away the seconds in a dry age

And have put pain to paper and turned rage to words,

As is a poet’s job.

But, most importantly, I stood in the night

And felt the breeze blow mortality;

I stood in a field of flowers under the sun

And knew the Power of God;

I played carelessly within the silverness of the moon

And relearned the untroubled days of childhood;

I held her hand, and watched that same moon

Rise in her eyes

And knew Love.’

The poet stops, sighs and wipes tears from his eyes.

He sits quietly for a moment and then continues:

‘These are the things that truly define me or men

Or Mankind; it’s not the things written or said,

It’s the things that are lived.’

The light in the poet’s eyes fades.

The poet dies.

A Prayer Of My Faded Childhood

I ask that I may

Thrive under the sun, while it shines;

The halcyon days of youth fade swiftly,

Never to be found again,

Lost forever to the swirling mists.

Let the light of early days shine upon

The melancholy greys of age and responsibility.

Dear God, I beg You, release me from

This yoke and let me run free,

Free into the wilds, the moors, the jungles

Of my infancy and my innocence.

Lord grant me surcease from knowledge

And deeds.

That is my prayer.

Mnemosyne

(Every time the wind blows, I hear your voice but you're never there)

I remember you like sound

Sound like words

Words like the breeze of life

And I rise over this city

Taken up in your atmosphere

Seeing your face in clouds

That form from my longing

And surround me like light

Light like skies

Skies that stretch to forever

Like my memory of you

That survives the passage of time

Like a garment well-worn

Comfortable and warm,

But put away now

Only on occasion to be stroked,

Touched, to live again in its softness

Soft like the sound of our love.

Thoughts of Madness

The darkened tunnels have been traveled,

And the castles are no more;

The riverbeds are dry and empty,

And the birds no longer soar;

The deep dark forest are all cut down,

And there’s a lock on every door.

The sky has been made clear and bright

And there is no sign of rain;

The machines of death have been laid to rest

And no one remembers the pain;

The world’s going right to Heaven or Hell

And the mad shall lead the sane.

The world has moved on, and on again,

As I move towards madness,

For this sphere of life holds for me no joy,

But neither is there sadness.

Son of Swords

I stand in the dark, under the pouring rains,

While I pray, and the world eats my soul.

My song is all of my roaring pains,

Buried in the shadow of the black totem pole.

All that I used to be is just a memory,

A prayer crashing against the stone ears of devilry

As I long for zero,

Singing my song in chains,

I long for zero.

(Every step is dogged)

I am the son of swords

Born to follow the lines of force

With my blood beating with the swollen words

Written on my soul with no remorse.

I seek the palace and the sonic throne

The Chalice and the broken bones,                               

So I dream of zero

With all my tattered dreams,

I dream of zero.

(Every hour is devoured)

In my lonely tantrums,

When my entire world is ice and steel,

And I am the only sighted man in the kingdom,

I lose my way and cannot feel

The dark kiss of the maelstrom,

The omega sunshine bliss of the atom

So I go to zero,

Holding close to my shattered soul,

I go to zero.

(Every breath is counted.)

Somewhere there is a great black mountain,

Looming under a twilight moon

And under it a great marble fountain

In which I bathe by the light of a wormwood noon.

Call me the lord of pain; call me the king of sorrow

Call me silent apostle, son of mourning on the last tomorrow.

Shadowlands

I was born in these shadowlands,

Haunted by dreams of memories

From those who despise my blackened hands,

As if nightskin were a disease.

I have been cursed by those from other lands

With lighter skins and haughty gaze,

As if I could be their’s to command,

I am the Man they try not to see.

But still I thrive in shadowlands,

Living life in pantherskin,

Walking tall across the moving sand

Loving the sun that I absorb within.

Nothing can shame this proud Man,

Proud of heritage and skin,

And though some scoff at my shadowed hands,

They cannot repress the Man within.

Spirituality: House of Worship

"Tu as pris mon cœur, ma sœur, mon épouse, tu as pris mon cœurpar un de tes yeux, avec une chaîne de ton cou." KJV, Song of Solomon 4:9

I am Nox’s son, Father/Brother/god
That brings the revelation of flesh,
All the manna of our souls falling through the air,
All your curses moving me on,
As I pulse in the rhythm of your Angel-sweet body
Entering your temple in awe
And in ecstasy.


We are the congregation lascivious, rocking in hunger,
Writing our prayers in friction
As we speak in tongues that dance as they taste
And testify at the top of our lungs.
We bow our heads in rapture
From the give and response of
Physical hymns.


I am the cardinal in pantherskin, preacher/predator,
Sermonizing as I prey;
Every verse written in fluids primal
And quoted from the holy book of our bodies,
Anointed in our own oils,
My rod comforting you,
Your body Communion sweet.


We are the Choir of the dark, sinsinging,
Harmonizing, in the clapping of our soma,
While mouths drip the holy waters of our passion:
Sweet, musky wine and hot salty lyrics,
Psalms that bounce off the walls
As we duet the mantra of desire.
Percussion in the House of Worship.


I am the Thunder, nightskinned lightning,
Bringing the storm of ecstasy,
The rain that falls from your thighs,
My voice booms as I strike deep
And electrify the flower in your temple,
Making it bloom
Making you shout.


We are the Church of the Erotic, holy and profane,
Righteous in Our Name, sinners in our blood,
Making an offering of all our passions,
Calling God with our psyches,
Bodies pulsing with the infinite beat
Of the Heart in the heart of hearts,
Cumming soulward and seeking Heaven.


Amen.

Street Song 5: Tangent Line

there is a woman I saw once

that inspired me to write;
and not only to write, but to dream
and most of all to remember
all that Love is about.
ain’t that some shit,
how by chance a glance at this Lady
started to melt the ice
and had me thinkin’ about Love
and romance, candles, wine and jazz.
maybe it was just bad timing that let me
see her for so short a time,
what with her bein’ so fine
and us not bein’ together.
so here I am, inspired by her memory
led into fantasies by a brief encounter.
images of her lips and hips,
thoughts of her cleopatra eyes
have me searching breathlessly for
her face in clouds.
who is this magnificent woman I once saw?
why don’t you tell me,
you see her everyday in your mirror.

Small Room (A Song in Chains)

In that small room, deep in you,

Is where I sing my song in chains,

A song of Love, once pure and new

Then, suddenly, forever changed.

This closet in your soul,

Through which moved I once so deftly,

Seems, of late, darker and cold,

But I stay because it is all you have left me.

For me Love was ever Energy,

Kinetic or potential, slowed or hastened,

But as you turned away from me,

It became Energy quickly wasted.

So I sing my song in chains

Everlonging, everthinking

Of a Love once true then forcefully changed,

And my place in your heart ever shrinking.

Singularity Theory

With pen in prolific hand could I, at will

Spin worlds and brighten skies,

But mine was not the mighty Hand.

With pen in inspired hand could I, at will

Soothe souls and still tears,

But mine was not the mighty hand.

With pen in eloquent hand could I, at will

Move hearts and bend minds,

But still, mine was not the mighty hand

Nor mine will the will of God;

For it was His mighty hand that removed

Your life from mine

And His will that has

My hand, once prolific, eloquent and inspired,

Forever stilled.

Schwarzschild Radius

It is not in me to end this,

not while

your smile sings in my soul,

not while I can still taste

every kiss, every breath.

I cannot (will not)

see myself out of this,

never escaping this heavenly prison.                  

I am helplessly burning in sweetness,

your touch

feeding

the flames.

So if you don’t want me,

let me go,                                                                    

Cause I’ll never leave,

never willingly deny myself

all the pleasures of you.

Street Song 4: Got Me Opin

"I know I gotta be cooler than this cat you sittin' with....I'll do you right baby."

                                                                               ~777-9311, The Time

I could be like everyone else

If I chose, be like those

Who call you fine;

Say you sweet in my mind

Like the thought of a sin.

Aww shit, let me begin again

And just be me.

It's not hard to see

That I'm lost in your eyes

(And contemplation of your thighs

Keeps me up at night,

Just knowin' it would be right.)

But is that even the place to start?

Or should I tell you that you touched my heart,

Warmed it, made it beat so it seems even in my dreams

I taste your sweet and feel your heat?

How to even begin to tell you

That you beautiful like a sin I'd love to commit.

And you stay on my mind, I have to admit.

Probably 'til the stars burn out, no doubt,

It's your name in the dark that I'd love to shout,

And hold you like I do in my dreams

And it seems like a thing alive,

Stronger than even my pride,

And that ain't just another line.

Gimme a chance baby, 

I'll make you dance dance dance dance,

All you need to do is say yes,

You're my sweetest taboo, my honey colored goddess.

Sweet like that sin in the back of my mind,

Yeah you got me open,

And yeah I'm open wide.

Lure of Emptiness

I shall return to you some other Autumn

When the red leaves fly

And your thoughts and dreams once again

Swirl through the shadows of the mountains

Stirring me from my dust and waking me

From my visions.

And I shall be as a star or comet,

Brightening your sky as I burn

Myself out, throwing off

The shadows of unrest that have

Covered you in my absences.

Be content beloved, I am here only

To build you the crystal palaces

Of your unguarded moments.

This is my totality,

That I am enlaced in your atmosphere

Until the soft rains come

Again, to settle my dust

In the far corners.

I shall return to you some other Autumn,

When brother Summer has fled

And the cool and heavy clouds grow again,

Swirling in the shadows of the mountains,

Shaking the bones of my existence and moving me

Back into your circumference.

And I shall be Hunter’s moon radiant,

Limning your desires as I wane

Back to darkness, banishing  

The shades of unrest that have

Surrounded you in my slumber.

Rest now dearheart, I exist only

To attend your restless dreams,

To protect your unguarded soul.

This is my totality,

That I am enchained to your needs

Until Zephyr’s kiss again

Sweeps my tattered spirit

To the far corners.

Event Horizon

I watch the line of your back as you wait for me, leaning against the door,

Knowing that I watch,

Seeing the inherent grace in your every feature,

So glad to be here, with you, from now until whenever,

Knowing that I, for a time, have Majesty in my arms,

Just watching you,

The line of your back, of your thighs,

The rhythm of your walk

All calling me in a voice I must answer,

Wanting all that this view promises

And so much more.

Integration by Parts

I would whisper all of my secrets in your ears, were they close enough,

Tell you of my dreams, my desires, my failures;

No secrets, not between us, not any more.

Your hand in mine, my voice strong in your ear

As I tell you all of my plans for us

All of my desire for you,

Pouring my collected soul into your heart,

knowing that it is well received. 

Starlight

I think-

No, that’s not true, I know-

Know that you were always

The starlight in my universe,

Always;

Whether distant and beautiful

Or near and warming,

Still starlight, always you

Shining in my empty spaces.

Not mine now, but still my starlight,

Still all the glory,

Starlight distant but still luscious

Ever brilliant in my heart

Like the taste of Life I once

Felt in your arms.

Always is yours the smile that

Drives out the shadows in my dreams.

Always the starlight in my universe.

Always

Still

Forever

Starlight.

google

Predation

(inhale)

stretch

You have entered my presence,

My territory,

Unsuspecting,

Unmindful that you were meant

To be my next repast.

I lick my teeth in anticipation

Of aliment, ravenous.

(exhale)

step

(inhale)

I taste you, your incense dancing in the wind,

As I glide,

Tiger by moonlight, hungry stalking

Everhunting everwanting you.                                       

stride

(exhale)

pursue

(inhale)

We move naturally,

Subaudible,

The choreography of hunter and prey.

You do not know that you are hunted,

Yet are no safer in your nescience.

crouch

(exhale)

Patience and I shall feed of your nectar

Taste your liquid kiss.

Muscles tensed, ready to spring,

To feed as you take the tension from me,

But I shall not rush.

stalk

(inhale)

shadow

(exhale)

I dance with you, slowly, to the clearing

Wherein our violent ballet shall conclude;

Destinies fulfilled as we slowly become one.

My need sated as I eat of you,

Feeding in ecstasy at your temple.

(inhale)

crouch

I move ever closer,

(exhale)

Almost embracing you with my teeth,

pounce

I become the breath on the back of your neck.

(bite)

Ahhh….

Street Song 3: No Technology (The Art of Neo-Primitive Seduction)

First we’ll leave our keys

And park both of our cars.

Walk together like we used to do,

Just me and you under the stars.

And we’ll pretend that it’s dark,

Ignoring the glare of the street lights

As our hearts reach toward each other

And our minds reach for higher heights;

So that by the time that we get back home

We’ll be more than ready to be alone.

See we don’t need no technology

Comin’ between you and me,

From now until the sun starts to rise

The only light I need is in your eyes.

Turn your iPod off baby,

And put it on the counter next to mine.

Leave your laptop there too, don’t worry,

Everything will be just fine.

While I light these candles, Hon,

You can kill those lights,

I told you things were gonna be different tonight.

I already logged off the computer

And turned off my phone,

Tonight nobody’s gonna keep us from being alone.

See we don’t need no technology

Comin’ between you and me;

From now until tomorrow is born

You’re the only thing I’ll need to turn on.

Come over by the fireplace with me,

I got the bottle of oil, grab that bottle of wine.

You’ll see we don’t need no damn TV

And I promise everything will be just fine.

I’ll drink from your glass and you from mine

While we hold each other by the firelight.

And as my hands caress your spine,

I’m glad there’re no distractions tonight.

When we end our dance, I’ll hand you a corsage

As we relax together on the floor.

Then I’ll take your feet and start to massage-

Just a hint of what I have in store.

See we don’t need no technology

Comin’ between you and me;

From now until the morning sun

Nothing will keep us from being one.

Unrequited

"If I can't see your face, I will remember your smile." 

                                                           ~"You Bring Me Joy" Anita Baker, Rapture, 1986

I cannot this feeling shake:

That I need u.

This thirst slake:

To be with u.

And never did I think

It would be so.

Yet here I am

Taken by u,

My body and mind

Shaken by u,

Knowing that still must I

Let u go.

Song of Rainy Days

I hold candlelight in my hand

as raindrops fall

like tears from Heaven

even they can’t quench this flame

(falling, falling)

there is a darkness all around

it falls from the sky

and from my naked soul

yet my ardor never wavers

(darkness, darkness)

this is my singular dream

the one that never fades

my song of rainy days

and icy breezes blowing

(passion, passion)

I hold candlelight against the night

and against the falling rain

and against the storm within

and my fire never wavers.

.