Machinations

Words are plastic, 
shapeable by the speaker and the listener, 
and as such are somewhat less than the thoughts and feelings that we wish to convey by them. But here across space, 
where the silence of your smile 
and the taste of your skin are distant stars in a twilight sky, 
words carry all of the Gravity left to us. 
Thus I offer you these machines, 
these words, 
to understand, work and shape as you will: 
Cold, Reaching, Resonance and Desire.

Love's Prayer

a bit of grace

a little more time

to see her face

hold her hand in mine

all i ask is for the time

to complete my task

hold her heart in mine

just a quick blessing

is all i need

i fear time is pressing

forgive my greed

just a while

to hear her laugh

see her smile

she's all i have

all i'll ever need

let our happiness last

forgive my greed

all i can say

don't let it end

in Your name i pray

dear Lord, amen.

In Temporary Twilight

I exist only in the moment after nightfall,

When the world thinks of Love and lovers of each other,

When chaos and order play at life

And the stars themselves are passion.

And somewhere, in this temporary twilight,

I am still holding you. Now and forever,

As it has so many breathless times before,

Eternity beats your name onto my soul.

There has never been anyone, no one like you,

You were my angel, your song echoing in my heart.

And as I think longingly of your eyes

My soul remembers how to dream:

I dream your tenderness held tight in my arms,

Your hand again in mine, my heart still in yours.

And under this night, so bright in my fantasy,

We are more than even we thought possible.

I dream of lost memories of forgotten love

Of truths never learned and lies never told,

But even submerged in this vision of crystal palaces,

I know that you are gone, and I awaken.

I wake, like I rise each morning,

Praying that my heart won’t call to you,

Knowing all the while that it will, as it has

Every since my lips first touched yours.

I awake to a world of coldness

Where the warmth of you lying next to me is a memory,

But that memory is all that sustains me

As I seek the clouds I last saw you dancing under.

"Go then. There are other worlds than these." - Stephen King, The Gunslinger

Cornerstone Reality

"You say you wanna go so we can both be free" -W/As My Girl, Maxwell 


I was cold within, without you, on that forgotten eve, by that lonely lake
As I reflected. And the water reflected the moonlight such that I could almost mistake
Silver light for icy rime, in the waves and my soul; and though not likely in that clime,
Somewhat more plausible than my wasted effort to stop your heart's retreat from mine.
Though, even after this space of time, sure I am that had I decided, heavyhearted, to go wading,
Instead of standing alone on that twilit Autumn/Winter shore lonely, longing, waiting,
Cold for want of Lost-Love's warming embrace, and had lost myself- dark frigid water enlaced-
Then, in that moment, would have been no more or less frozen than since I last kissed your face.

Love-Call (Beyond Hyperbolic Vertex)

I watch you, again,

As your sleeping soul rests,

And I feel my heart swelling

Again with Love for you

Almost against my will.

There is so much I’d pray for

As I stand here,                                                                  

But all my prayers are gone.

I asked God to let me find you and He did,

I sold my soul back to Him,

All my prayers (dreams) gone away,

To have you, and here you are.

If your understanding were mine,

You’d see my heart surrounding you-

This Love is all I have

You are the only Heaven I hope for

So I watch you, again,

As your sleeping soul rests

And long for the answer to my prayers

To answer my Love-call.

Status Migrainosus II: The Unlovely Smell of Oranges

She says "Dance a little dance with me".
She sings "Dream a little dream,"
And again I fall into the dark.


She holds me close as we dance,
My oldest friend,
As close as my memories of her
That stretch back in my mind almost as far
As the face of the quiet Hunter,
He who has always been my goal and my goad.
She holds me tight in the dark
And it is hot and we dance and we spin and spin.


She says "Dance a little dance with me.
Dream a little dream".
She sings in a language she has taught me
And again I fall into the dark.


My oldest friend,
As close as the lie in a lover's kiss
As we dance and spin and spin
In the darkness where everyone passing through 
Is limned in fading light
And the rising dark of our dance is
Intimate in every way.
We dance in the dark and know nothing of the world.


She sings only for me
And this is always her song:
"Dance a little dance with me, dream a little dream".
And all duty and desire fall away
As I fall into the dark.


Her perfume is oranges, likely blood,
As sweet and as sharp as Love's first kiss,
And it envelopes me as we dance,
Scenting my reality as we spin and spin
Through the waves and the valleys and the hot.
My oldest friend and I,
Together here at the bottom of the dark,
Where the world is  a memory
And there is only the dance.


I know that one day she will call,
In a voice of marmalade and cold wet earth,
And she will sing "Dance a little dance with me,"
And through my tears I will dance;
She will sing "Dream a little dream,"
And I know only her embrace;
And she will whisper, into the cups of my ears,
"Stay here, a while with me, in the dark,"
And all of my desires
And all of my hopes
And all of my breaths-
All of my equations- will fall to zero,
To the smell of oranges
As we spin and spin
And then spin no more.

Status Migrainosus 1: A Poet’s Thoughts Near Death

‘I have read, I have cried, and I have

Supped full with passion and horror,’

Thought the poet, his eyes preternaturally bright,

‘I have ticked away the seconds in a dry age

And have put pain to paper and turned rage to words,

As is a poet’s job.

But, most importantly, I stood in the night

And felt the breeze blow mortality;

I stood in a field of flowers under the sun

And knew the Power of God;

I played carelessly within the silverness of the moon

And relearned the untroubled days of childhood;

I held her hand, and watched that same moon

Rise in her eyes

And knew Love.’

The poet stops, sighs and wipes tears from his eyes.

He sits quietly for a moment and then continues:

‘These are the things that truly define me or men

Or Mankind; it’s not the things written or said,

It’s the things that are lived.’

The light in the poet’s eyes fades.

The poet dies.

Mnemosyne

(Every time the wind blows, I hear your voice but you're never there)

I remember you like sound

Sound like words

Words like the breeze of life

And I rise over this city

Taken up in your atmosphere

Seeing your face in clouds

That form from my longing

And surround me like light

Light like skies

Skies that stretch to forever

Like my memory of you

That survives the passage of time

Like a garment well-worn

Comfortable and warm,

But put away now

Only on occasion to be stroked,

Touched, to live again in its softness

Soft like the sound of our love.

Thoughts of Madness

The darkened tunnels have been traveled,

And the castles are no more;

The riverbeds are dry and empty,

And the birds no longer soar;

The deep dark forest are all cut down,

And there’s a lock on every door.

The sky has been made clear and bright

And there is no sign of rain;

The machines of death have been laid to rest

And no one remembers the pain;

The world’s going right to Heaven or Hell

And the mad shall lead the sane.

The world has moved on, and on again,

As I move towards madness,

For this sphere of life holds for me no joy,

But neither is there sadness.

Singularity Theory

With pen in prolific hand could I, at will

Spin worlds and brighten skies,

But mine was not the mighty Hand.

With pen in inspired hand could I, at will

Soothe souls and still tears,

But mine was not the mighty hand.

With pen in eloquent hand could I, at will

Move hearts and bend minds,

But still, mine was not the mighty hand

Nor mine will the will of God;

For it was His mighty hand that removed

Your life from mine

And His will that has

My hand, once prolific, eloquent and inspired,

Forever stilled.

Schwarzschild Radius

It is not in me to end this,

not while

your smile sings in my soul,

not while I can still taste

every kiss, every breath.

I cannot (will not)

see myself out of this,

never escaping this heavenly prison.                  

I am helplessly burning in sweetness,

your touch

feeding

the flames.

So if you don’t want me,

let me go,                                                                    

Cause I’ll never leave,

never willingly deny myself

all the pleasures of you.

Starlight

I think-

No, that’s not true, I know-

Know that you were always

The starlight in my universe,

Always;

Whether distant and beautiful

Or near and warming,

Still starlight, always you

Shining in my empty spaces.

Not mine now, but still my starlight,

Still all the glory,

Starlight distant but still luscious

Ever brilliant in my heart

Like the taste of Life I once

Felt in your arms.

Always is yours the smile that

Drives out the shadows in my dreams.

Always the starlight in my universe.

Always

Still

Forever

Starlight.

google

Unrequited

"If I can't see your face, I will remember your smile." 

                                                           ~"You Bring Me Joy" Anita Baker, Rapture, 1986

I cannot this feeling shake:

That I need u.

This thirst slake:

To be with u.

And never did I think

It would be so.

Yet here I am

Taken by u,

My body and mind

Shaken by u,

Knowing that still must I

Let u go.

Street Song 2 (Just Another Sad Song…)

I never did think it would turn out this way,

With you and I so far apart,

But seeing you with another man

Was more than enough to break my heart.

And when I asked you about it when you came home,

After I sat 2 hours in the dark alone,

You had the nerve to lie in my face

That’s cool, know what, take ya shit and get it outta my place.

Just take the broken dreams you gave me

And go lie in the bed that you’ve made

See I’ve heard all of this before

And I ain’t lettin’ you hurt me no more.

Why are you still here, talkin about don’t let it end,

Sayin’ I misunderstood, he was just a friend.

But look witch, somebody musta told you wrong

Because this ain’t no damn Biz Markie song.

Love might’ve been blind, but it ain’t no more,

And all I want is you goin through that door.

I don’t wanna hear no more of your lies,

Like I’ma believe your triflin’ ass over my two eyes.

So I take back all the promises that I made you,

After this even Jesus couldn’t save you,

Cause I’m all done and that’s for damn sure,

Now get your ass on the other side of that door.

Why are you still talking? why is you still here?

I wanna see you walkin and I think I made that clear.

Back up off me, I ain’t gonna touch you so you can call the cops,

Just cause you got caught out there and wanna pull out all the stops.

But I swear on my kids, I’ll never hit you,

I just want you to go so I can start to forget you.

But don’t get it twisted, you got 10 minutes to pack.

Then I’m callin’ out my girl-cousins for the open field attack.

And take these broken dreams you gave me                             

And put them with the games that you played.

And I really hope he has what you lookin’ for,

Cause I ain’t wasting my Love on you no more.